btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Oh god it's open bar.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
