Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
