just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize