I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
