I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
