Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
