I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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