those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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