Fuck appropriateness.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
