Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
