I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
