Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
