I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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