I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
