she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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