Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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