no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
