Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
