Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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