That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize