I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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