Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize