on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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