I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
