Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
