I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
