Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
