I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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