quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
my liver is dry heaving
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
