i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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