you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
