I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
