you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
