Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
be right there i have to get my cape
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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