Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
