It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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