do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
