ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize