I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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