Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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