There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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