He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
