I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
