Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I can't put those talents on a resume
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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