It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
