matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
