Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
