Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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