had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
