Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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