Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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