I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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