My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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