Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Be still, my beating vagina.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize