Whod you bang
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
