weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
