They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
