**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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