Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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