I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
