How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
