Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
