Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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