I'm lost and stupid without you.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
