I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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