I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
