He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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