The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
